One God (or, the Divine Facepalm)

Once upon a time, humanity was trying to connect with God. So they started calling things Gods. There was a God of the river, and a God of the sun. There was a God named P'Or, and a God named Asheira, and a God named YHWH. They Godified almost anything.

They began to get into fights over which God was more important. It was like sports teams or flags. It was very confusing.

So God stepped in gently and told them, Look guys, there's only one God. That's me, you see. The One God. It's the same God for all of you guys. The river, the sun, they are two sides of the same coin.

And so the word spread among the humans that there was only one God. And slowly, the people started putting away their idols. They stopped believing that there were multiple powers competing for their attention. They began to direct their energies towards just one Power.

The only trouble was, they weren't really sure who God was exactly. Some called him YHWH, others Christ, others Allah, and still others Vishnu. Everyone had a different name for God. They all agreed that God wanted people to get along, but there was also a bunch of other stuff that God seemed to want them to do, which they couldn't agree upon.

Fast forward two thousand years, replace the word 'God' with 'religion', and we are back where we started. A thousand different religions, all trying to say the same thing. All missing the forest for the trees.

And God is saying... D'oh!!